April 2026

Dear Yogis/Yoginis ,

Can we talk about how exhausting it is to argue with reality?

Not the big philosophical debates. The quiet, persistent ones we run in the background, all day long. The relationship that should have lasted. The career we should have or our kids should have. The old jeans that should still fit. The version of ourselves we should have become by now. The decade that should have gone differently.. The weather that should be warmer, colder, dryer...

We are, most of us, in an ongoing negotiation with what already happened. And the negotiation, as it turns out, is the suffering. The “shoulding” creates suffering.

Is your list of “shoulds” bringing you peace or is it brining you conflict and self judgement?

Aparigraha — the open hand

Aparigraha — non-grasping, non-possessiveness — is one of the foundational Yamas of yoga. A principle not just for the mat, but for how we move through an entire life.

Buddhism points to the same truth. The Second Noble Truth names Tanha — craving, clinging — as the root of suffering. Not life’s changes themselves, but our resistance to the fact that they happened.

We cling to our shoulds. And while we’re busy rehearsing that argument, the present moment slips past unmet — probably doing something lovely that we completely missed.

Allowing vs. Accepting — there is a difference

I used to confuse acceptance with resignation. With saying fine, it is what it is through clenched teeth while my whole body said otherwise.

But allowing is softer. More honest.

Acceptance can feel like a verdict — a closing of the case. Allowing says: I’m letting this be here. I’m making room.

Aparigraha does not ask us to stop loving.It asks us to love without the grip.

And here is what I have found again and again, in practice and in life: when we finally stop fighting what is, something in us exhales. The river starts moving again.There is more room for grief, yes, but also for laughter, for wonder, for the unexpected kindness or an ordinary day.

The strange gift of Aparigraha is this: the less we grip, the more we actually receive. Not because we’ve given up — but because open hands can hold so much more than clenched ones.

Loss doesn’t disappear. But it stops being the whole story.

Inhale: Acknowledge reality as it is.

Exhale: Your Arguments with reality as it is.

With love and open hands,

-Evelyne